The words "Happy Holidays" is getting me a little emotional this year. The thought of it has me crying my heart out. Like thinking back... what does it consist of? As a younger kid, I remember only wanting toys and running to the tree, ripping open those boxes to find clothes!! Lol there was some toys but you get the picture right? When I reached the 8th grade and found out I had hips and curves, I could care less about the toys! "Mommy, I want a pretty dress I saw in a magazine, ok? please?" I'll admit, me and my sisters were all the way spoiled growing up.. I won't even start with the dinners because my mother turned all the way up in the kitchen!! Shit, I'll pay anything for those memories now. Becoming a mother, is the scariest thing I ever come across. Take my word for it, I look sweet but my past friend group consisted of people who might have had artificial hearts inside of them.. Lol On a more serious note, slowly seeing shit fall apart.. I made it my business to try and keep hope alive. Lol.. Failed that mission.. See, birthdays, Thanksgivings, and Christmases mean EVERYTHING TO ME. Birthdays everybody got a cake and a song, to stop pain of having people cancel for birthdays is for me a dagger through my heart❣For Thanksgivings, every year we went in with the cooking, parents, sisters, friends that were close would come and just fool with each other. My last Thanksgiving.. I felt like I was drowning not having my family as one. Christmas as I became older would be for the kids. Times are rough now a days so yeah.. Lol .. Everyone understood. Every now and then when my mother was able to.. She would still get presents for her girls. Each time it meant the world because When she shops .. She puts her full emotion and love in it. We would still have the cooking and togetherness but the recordings would be of the kids eyes wide open getting their gifts. We're blessed with easy to please kids because anything that was wrapped up made them glow. Lol for my sons first Christmas I spent over 300$ for him only to playing with the wrapping paper! Lol cute right? It was definitely a sight to see. When my nephew saw his toys he didn't know what to get to first! Lol Ahhh .. Those looks they have had the ability to soothe even the coldest winters. Memories of my holidays could win a Grammy award. Now as a mother, and me being older.. what are the holidays really about? As I mentioned, the holidays for me was being surrounded by my family, but even that is a dream... so what now....what is it about now? Holidays of 2015 have been the realest thing that has ever happened to me.. Take my word, I smile a lot but I been through the worst. and for me 2015 was the hardest.. but on a bright side I can say that it made me the strongest. I'm not guru on the holiday subject, but I think holidays should have a meaning. The meaning for me was family. Do not misunderstand me in saying that some days my family makes me so crazy, that I could run away. In todays world, if you see a "normal" family... It might be staged. For me even seeing the madness was ok... as long as it was done together.
Merry Christmas From me to youđź’ť
Ceeceeđź’•
I am glad I read this as I strongly believe that family does mean everything and for some its all they got. The lost of family members over the past years have made the Holidays very tough as well. When life changes its course, those people closes to you, blood or not, becomes a filler for the empty emotions that once filled you. The Holidays should mean something, you are right. But if those Holiday meanings have changed, because of the absence of physical or the mental presence of particular people, then find a new meaning or way to celebrate within those special days. Let God lead your heart so that you may continue to lead others. <3 Happy Holidays
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