As I roam through facebook, I came across a post that blew me away. If your a mother or a wife, you know that both can require your full attention. Jada Pinkett made a very valid statement in her interview with her daughter. After marriage and motherhood, your mental and physical body will be drained if you let life do it to you. Personally, there's been times I am positive to have my kids get their check ups and have my husband annual dental work. Sometimes being a mother can truly feel guilty about buying yourself something as small as a pair of jeans. As mothers we throw our normalness we had before anything. Holding that in for how long can have you flip on the people you love. Jada made a huge flashback pop into my head when thinking about friends, family,husband, and mainly my kids. Have you ever heard a person or even yourself blame someone else for not getting a goal done that you needed to happen? This can happen with anyone but specifically as women we should think about an airplane going down as an example. Right? If a plane is going down, you have to put your vest and oxygen mask on first in order to help anyone else. This same rule applies to our every day living with family. Going deeper there is honestly no true way to blame anyone for not being able to go out to see that action film that everyone is talking about. Going to college should never be something any thing or person should stop you from pursuing if it benefits your future. As parents we should take care of our families but not lose ourselves in doing it. Speaking from a personal perspective, losing yourself while catering to your family can be beautiful but also draining.
“She is the creature of life, the giver of life, and the giver of abundant love, care and protection. Such are the great qualities of a mother. The bond between a mother and her child is the only real and purest bond in the world, the only true love we can ever find in our lifetime.”
― Ama H.Vanniarachchy
Love,
Ceecee <3
I love this post Candace! As a mom I see myself a lot in what you are saying. I feel guilty all the time for not spending enough time with my kids and not being the "perfect" parent. I know that is an unrealistic goal but i feel so much pressure to make sure they turn out "okay" and I have sort of decided its 100% my responsibility to make sure that happens and if I do the slightest thing wrong and they end up in therapy when they are 25, I will never forgive myself. I have my own issues with my own parents and I always strive to make my own children feel loved and cared for and nurtured and its hard for me to draw the line between their lives and mine. Am I even allowed to have a life of my own? Like you said ,I feel guilty for even thinking that. I am their mother. I don't deserve a life. Its my job to make sure THEIR life is amazing. Yeah...I have lots of issues with this one...lol.
ReplyDeleteI think what Jada was saying is beyond powerful. Like you said, sometimes we as mothers think "is it even allowed for us to have a life??" My husband gives me money to shop for myself when he can and I spend what he gives me on my kids. I tell myself and others that I walk by things for my kids that and buy it because its so cute. After watching this video though, I ask myself am I buying out of guilt?
ReplyDeleteI hear ya. Before my kids I was a major shopper for myself. And now, most of my shopping is for my kids too. I spoil them way too much but it makes me feel good to buy them things. They are all good kids and get good grades so I try to let that justify what I buy them. But then like you said, I am like, "Am I buying them stuff to make them happy....or to make me happy? Am I bringing my childhood into this, when I NEVER had anything new or nice? Is it my way of making up for all those times I felt I was too strict or spent too much time working?" I need to work on this.
ReplyDeleteAs a father, it is important all mothers continue to live an abundant life. I belive in equality. I also think society/religion have erroneously conditioned us into forcing women into "thinking less of themselves after childbirth."
ReplyDeleteWomen,you are more than your position as a Mother. Don't settle for an unhappy life.